Thinking about communing and relationships my mind races away from what was once seen as traditional and more towards what is heart felt. Compassion and passion have been heavy in my thought processes lately. Sunday, while putting air in my tire, an elderly man approached me. I had the queen with me so I was a bit tense. He looked scruffy and had a very intense yet displaced look in his eyes. He mumbled something at me and I of course said pardon me. He came closer while say I walked from GA to VA. "WALKED" I said.. he answered yep these are my third pair of shoes. He went on to say how far away is DC from here. I answered his question while looking him up and down. He added that he need to get his disability benefits as he was shot twice in the Vietnam war. My heart sunk! This is someone's father, grandfather who served our country and was even wounded in the mist of it all. The veteran had walked from GA to VA, which he said took him five *5* months to do, just to apply for some benefits that should have been his years ago. I was crying inside, truly torn up over this. I wanted to give him a ride to DC yet one it was Sunday everything was closed and two pride. I didn't want to deny him the pride of getting there himself. I gave him five dollars to get something to eat as he told me he walked eight miles in about three hours just that morning. I wished him well turned my back to him and climbed into my nicely heated car to drive away.
I did this workshop once where I had to turn my back to someone after they told me a horrible self story. I balled I mean screamed, hollered snot running down my face cried as I turned away from them. Just the thought of leaving someone in the lurch like that was extremely saddening to me. After the workshop I spent several days apologizing to that person as if I had done some grieve injustice to her. I was upset over it for about a week.
My thoughts in regards to this elderly gentleman who was walking to DC from GA soon went to "WHERE the H E double hockey sticks was his family?!" and "why is he just now trying to get his benefits?!" I was left wanting to help not just for the ordeal but also for the simple reason that the need for help was there. How can our society just leave its people so wanting? How can I be so insensitive to the needs of people of around me and justify that insensitivity by saying I don't know his story or that I cant really help him. Now, of course those that I told said i did more then they would have but that information made me feel even worse. Where is the compassion .... we all falter.... we all suffer .... we all struggle.... we all need support. I went to look for him but he was no where to be found.
A thought that runs through my mind daily is we humans are communal. That means we need to be around and with other humans just to live. It is through openness, love, honesty, compassion and passion that we are able to best serve each other and support each other in this adventure we labeled life. Turning our backs, isolating ourselves or even selective association will never farther the cause of humanity. Just a thought.
Con Amor,
Love is... TL
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